Journal? Diary? Blog? Microblog? (heavily under contruction lmao)
27th July 2026
"That wonderful smile is gone for eternity"
All the build up from the audio tapes left by Hulbert, to losing the vision ring and learning things about a random boy, to finding out how the Smiths got killed, all of it leading to this moment. It takes a genius to create a story, a game like this. So full of symbolisms and allegories even in the gameplay itself.
Emir Parkreiner has a Demi-God status like Harman and Kun Lan maybe a bit different, hence the third eye and his ability to do some extremely unusual shit. Theres a theory that he consumed the souls of the other 6 smiths and he chooses when an individual smith should come out according to the task, thats how the Killer7 in this timeline functions.
Onto, the different personalities, not focusing on the Smiths but Emir Parkreiner and Garcian. I genuinely love his character so much, the way trauma shaped his personality and how different both Emir and Garcian are because of it... Incestuous relationships are something that can damage someone so much by the fact that its their own fucking family abusing them. Garcian/Emir's mother casually trying to rape him one night, that causing him to reach a breaking point and eventually killing his mother. I assume his third eye awakened during that time as Kun Lan described "That moment when the subconsious rises to the surface". I cant imagine the amount of emotional turmoil he must be going through during the years when he was actively getting assaulted. "Every night, he would cry. Begging the lord." I saw someone talking about how Garcian is supposed to be a personality that is an ideal version of Emir, how he would have been if he hadnt been so lonely and didnt have a troubled life, 100% agreed. You still see Garcian dissociating in a lot of scenarios indicating that there is something is wrong, which is a detail that I love. "I feel no remorse for the dead body, to me its merely cold rotting flesh" his job as a cleaner, not wanting to get his hands dirty, these are the things that slip out of the cracks of Garcian's persona, showing that he is a deeply traumatized person and a very tragic character. Atleast after you deconstruct his character and start to think about it.
Theres another theory that states that Garcian is only Killer7 member, he just switches personalities and the player sees the world from only his perspective in the gameplay. Both of the theories are good but I dont want to believe just one of it, though I do incline more towards the former. Killer7's story has information that is covered up, censored or misleaded by the government. So it misleads and confuses the fans as well due to different versions of information provided, its all overlapping and not making sense. Emir Parkreiner's life has been 'officially' documented that way as well. But I choose to believe he has lived multiple lives, or atleast more than one because of him being a Demi-God and the information provided both in the game as well as in extra content.
I also wanna talk about Harman and Garcian's relationship. The real Harman does control the Killer7 but the Harman that interacts with Garcian is merely just a reflection in his head of what he used to be as Harman Deltahead, his former mentor during the coburn elementary school days (Dare i say, the fact that Emir/Garcian is black has a lot more nuance to their relationship). Harman Deltahead in real life is a crippled man who can barely speak or move by his ownself. Emir Parkreiner/The Bloody Heartland was known to be an ace of the aces (as an assassin).
When Garcian as a personality took over his body, he didnt want to go crazy again like he did before, so he subconsciously got attached to the idea of taking orders from someone who has more power over him to keep him grounded, even though Harman Deltahead was the one that drove him further towards insanity by training him to kill people for state interests. As he gradually started to gain the will to learn about the truth though, as he started learn about the system that created Garcian, he started to lose control and go unstable. "Use your eyes to decipher how the system works", words said by Linda Vermillion.
21st July 2026
I am once again here after almost a month lol. This is the other part of what I have written about Killer7, specifically about chapter 5: smile. Just a warning, this blogpost contains a lotttttt of images and gifs and this one is probably the longest post till now lol. If you wanna read it, it will take time. And I am gonna be keeping this post and the last scene with Emir and Garcian separate for,,, reasons. This post contains images of violence and blood.
The aftermath. Garcian is recovering memories that hes not even aware about that those are his memories are his own. As he is learning the truth, he keeps losing things and people that are important and precious to him. Arriving at his trailer house and hearing no screaming noises like there usually are feels weird. I used to think that those horrifying noises were made by Harman and I still partially believe it to be true. The difference in my theory is that he used to hear the noises inside his own head of Harman and now that Garcian has learned that Harman was actually killed way before, the noises have stopped.
In the trailer, after that incident I couldnt help but feel a sense of loneliness, I am pretty sure Garcian very much feels the same and the devs definitely intended to do this. His family of assassins fucking died. And as horrifying as the screams may sound whenever hes in the trailer, it suddenly disappearing and there's nothing but just loud echoing of footsteps, really makes the loneliness factor worse. A family of assassins may sound weird, not much has been shown about how the smiths interact with each other atleast in the game, from external information though the dynamic between the Killer7 may not even be very wholesome like the found family trope typically potrayed but Garcian doesnt have any family of his own. He has one friend, Christopher Mills. They have such beautiful platonic interactions which contradicts with all the formal, cultish, victim-perpetrator, political relationships and interactions throughout the game, so much so that he is only shown to be genuinely smiling when hes talking with Mills. Their relationship is professional as well but mostly platonic. Whenever they interact, it genuinely feels like they have been friends for so long and it is so refreshing to see everytime. Garcian treasures the friendship between both of them. Despite his very professional attitude and the fact that hes basically the leader of Killer7, he definitely feels a lot less lonely with his stupid family of assassins. But now everyone is gone. I flipped through the TV channels to find something but it was of no use.
As Garcian goes back to the Union hotel, this time there is not a single heaven smile giggling through the hallways but there was a feeling of dread. Seeing bloodstains on the places and rooms where every member of the Killer7 was killed, those events played out in Garcian's mind as if he was the one who was assassinating them. A soundtrack named 'Orignal Personality' plays as we go through the floors and that adds more to this dreadful, ominous feeling that Garcian, as a character and we, as a player are going through, even though there are no smiles this time, events from Garcian's past are unfolding right before our eyes and thats way more terrifying than anything else. Garcian still is not aware about his past identity and his role in killing the smiths. He is just confused and doesnt know what to feel especially by his given principles.
About Mills' lines about the government... He is such a good character. So well written. He describes the state of todays world perfectly with global rising fascism and the role of United States in the ever so degrading geopolitical situations, how the US officials will go against their own constitution if they see profit somewhere. He acknowledges that he is the dog of the US government, he has worked as an information broker for the worst of the worst people as well (ex. Curtis Blackburn) all because he wants to live a lavish life. That seemed to be his goal ever since he started working as a child, as an orphan. Another case of the government grooming a child, to be an agent, a very vulnerable child who very likely doesnt have a support system nonetheless. But that doesnt make him any less complicit or innocent AND also doesnt make him any less susceptible to giving out a critique or hating on the people he works for.
Dan's assassination is probably the one that intrigued me the most cause his personality and backstory is the most developed and well defined out of all the other 6 Smiths and his interaction with Emir or should I say 'The Bloody Heartland', had dialogues as well. The assassination of the other 6 just had Emir whistling some english folk song, those were pretty brutal to watch as well especially when you consider that Garcian at some point of his life did all of that, maybe not willingly but he still did that. Dan is just as cocky as he always is. Smirking, talking like a faggot even though someone is there to fucking kill him.
I am gonna put my light-hearted slander aside, in that scene Dan seemed more like his assassin's equal than his victim cause he tried to fight back by cocking the gun towards him. That brief moment of tension, the camera focusing on both of them and then each one of them, Garcian's face covered with shadows indicating that Garcian in this scene is not actually Garcian but someone else who has completely lost his mind... gosh I love games that use cinematic elements. I would like to think that Dan did not actually want to shoot Emir even though his life was in danger cause Emir was a child after all. It fits Dan's character very well and makes him a lot more interesting when you think about his past and his relationship with Curtis Blackburn.
COMING TO GARCIAN AND MILLS. THESE MEN ARE GAY AS FUCK FOR EACH OTHER. I saw someone saying that there is an element of privacy between them in here, you dont see the camera focusing on Garcian crying, its supposed to be a very intimate moment between both of them. Him just letting his guard down, express his emotions through his tears, the murder of the smiths and losing his best friend, "Garcie, dont cry" You can't fuckinf do this to me man. Mills comforting Garcian as a remanant psyche, wanting to spend the afterlife with Garcian. They love each other so much and this moment truly broke me. It would have impacted me way more deeply if I didnt take long breaks in between my playthrough (I had to because of college work and personal stuff..)
Young Harman Smith in that scene with Garcian, found Coburn Elementary school, which is responsible of training children to become goverment agents. Basically selling the children of United States for profit. Capitalism. Harman is supposed to represent the goodness (West) and Kun Lan is supposed to represent the opposite (East). Now when you see the geopolitical relationship between USA and Japan in this game atleast, Japan is potrayed in a very evil manner, probably cause the imperialists were trying to take control. On the other hand we play as the Killer7, the heroes, we have to take on missions directly from the US goverment thats the reason why USA may not seem potrayed as evil as Japan. But as the story progressed to this chapter, it became quite clear that both the countries are fucked in their own ways. The need for profit in United States, both for the state and interests of the individuals, has been crushing minorities (in this case, children). The politics of United States pretty much summarizes the morality of Harman. Good enough to look above the surface but highly corrupted deep down. "Who would have thought the killer was a mere 13 year old?" and he took the opportunity to exploit him further.
The last scene with Kun Lan and Harman playing chess is very interesting to me. Who was the one that shot their bodies? I am thinking of Garcian, Emir or The Bloody Heartland. Kun Lan mentioned about the time being warped, when exactly did that shooting take place? That room was connected to Garcian's trailer as well at one point and now its available at the last floor of the Union hotel, hence I say that he can travel through space and time. He definitely wasn't aware of it when he entered the room of their chess game in the beginning of this chapter. I would say his subconsciousness was trying to tell him something.
26nd June 2026
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I have got Killer7 brainworms so lets talk about it! I recently finished the game and now I'm trying not to die conttantly while playing Killer8 bloodbath difficulty.
I've got a lot to say about Garcian's character. Hes got to be one of my fav video game protagonists. 
This is just gonna be the part 1 of it LMAO I wrote this a few days ago on instagram and slept at 5 am. This game is consuming my soul and I say this in the most positive way possible.
Killer7 chapter 5... I have never played a game that fucked up my brain so much. The game does have its horrifying elements here and there but this chapter has got to be the worse.
The scene with Matsuoka is one of the last scenes that has humour in it but then it quickly turns serious when he says "shit. like finding out who you are."
And then theres another cutscene where the corpse of wakes up and the noise it makes, resembles a heaven smile. Having to kill the hanging corpse of the Chairman of Education Ministry of the United States, who is highly responsible for (rigged) elections feels so important to Garcian's character as someone who was just a child, exploited and trained by Japanese imperialist leaders and the capitalist American educators at this school he went to, respectively (the school is controlled by japanese united nations party).
Garcian at this point isnt aware of his past or should I sayyy when he had the identity of Emir Parkreiner but he is slowly unravelling the truths like, by losing his vision ring for confirming the identity of Emir Parkreiner in the school data room (as a result, theres static whenever the player tries to focus/scan), by gaining the third eye when he opened the school's safe. Killing this corpse represents the idea of him trying to subconsciously confront his past, the indoctrination that forced him to become a killer made for the Japanese government to use.
Also, shooting the corpse's crotch may sound very funny, it has the huge red spot which is found on a mother heaven smiles seen throughout the game, after its destroyed it is no longer able to give birth to new smiles (in this case, birth as a metaphor for the number of new agents created to work for the goverment I guess) but here it creates pitch black smiles which act as a grim reaper for every killer7 personas except Garcian. You are confused, panicking, trying to find a solution to effectively kill the smiles, doing whatever you can but nothing is worth it. All the personalities have to die for Garcian to pick up the gun made for him and shoot the one thats coming towards him. The orignal personality gets to stay alive.
2nd June 2026
Happy pride month!!!!!!!! 
Just wanted to talk a bit about something that has been bothering me and has been on my mind for a while. Its about the definition of puritanism in internet spaces lol here we go.
To be honest this is the only year I've heard of people talking about puritanism outside of proshipping. Because of that I'm still not well versed in this topic but I can confidently say that people not liking and hating on your incest, rape, pedophilia fanarts and fanfictions is not puritanical. If anything, your art and writings are the opposite of puritanical cause yall are loving to get off to victims, doesnt matter if they are fictional or not.
Criticism of BDSM culture and not being pro-kink is not puritanical. Many kinks and practices in BDSM are rooted or stemmed from racism and misogyny, of course people will find it weird if you openly are into that stuff even if consent is involved, get over it instead of crying and arguing with teens online, you are a grown ass adult and it shouldnt affect you to this much fucking extent.
31st May 2026
It's been a while since I updated my updated my website. I was just extremely busy with my college and household chores which made me tired both physically and mentally. Using public transport all the way from your home to college in this city with so much heat that you could just start melting is no joke. I just want to yap about HxH rn.
A few days ago I was listening to HxH classical music tracks from the chimera ant arc while working on a ppt and was getting goosebumps all over my body especially when the crescendo hit and was tearing the fuck up and then gradually starting to cry because fuck. This anime, the ant arc from this damn anime is so special to me. I had never experienced such beautiful storytelling ever in my life at the age of 11. Not even gonna lie it changed my entire perspective on the shounen anime genre and permanently altered by brain in ways that I cannot even describe. dont get me started on the soundtrack called "kingdom of predators".
Okay I'm getting emotional again. Kingdom of predators playing over the most insane scene ever in context of how far human cruelty can go. Highlighting class differences, war and using weapons of mass destruction. Do yall fucking get how insane and impactful scenes like these can be to an eleven year old??? Talking about the cruelty, desire and greed of humans in an arc, in a story that is meant to show and focus on other wordly creatures being monsters... Even when the audience watching the show isnt aware of this fact, it is embedded into their subconscious. It is so fucking beautiful and the people who worked on every element of this are actual geniuses.
21st May 2026
Hehe just wanted to make a separate post about how much I loved the Rusted Nation event from Nu Carnival. Best fucking event in nu carnival and I still think about it. Beautiful setting, story and characterizations. It wasnt told linearly and not set in the present time like every other Nu Carnival event story does. Truly very unique and would love to see more about the Saia continent. Its just a shame that I wasnt playing the game when the event was running, or even during the rerun. Also, it has a beautiful soundtrack bro I've kept it as my Nu Carnival homescreen soundtrack and even as my ringtone :3 
19th May 2026
Warning and Disclaimer: Discussions of sexual assault, torture, drug abuse, exploitation and self-harm (oh my god). I use she/her pronouns for Rei from Nu Carnival and I am referring to the in-game H-scenes here (18+)
Yknow I had expressed my thoughts about this matter weeks ago but I really wanted to post it on my blog as well.
I went through the Rusted Nation event story in March and it was quite traumatizing, Especially the part where Rei gets raped.
Rei being a victim of torture, physical and sexual violence makes a lot of sense. I did think about headcanoning her as an sa victim because of a lot of signs. Never thought the devs would make it canon in such an explicit detail. Her having a very unhealthy relationship with sex and intimacy really had me thinking about her shitty past. Not to mention her chronic illness and possible drug addiction. I really keep forgetting this game isnt always sunshine and rainbows. She is a really good representation of a sexual assault victim, and to be honest thats something that I cant expect a BL gacha game to do so well.
Watched this h-scene and went through the entire card story way before. Noticed her behaviour and something felt off like the devs couldn't possibly do something like this for no reason.
Yeah this makes a lot of sense after finding out she is canonically a victim. The way she just dissociated for a minute when Eiden kinda fucked up. Also, she is in pain sometimes because of her chronic illness as well. Dissociating during pain as a survival mechanism... Fuck
In room 4 of Midnight Owl Rei when Eiden came across some weird sex toys that felt like torture devices and saw that Rei was familiar with all of them he came to a conclusion that Rei must have had some bad sexual experiences. At first I thought about that as well but didnt think a lot about her being sexually assaulted in the past because of her masochistic nature. Like,,, fuck. Rei is a masochist BECAUSE of the violence inflicted on her.
The writing team of Nu Carnival may have their flaws but I also deeply appreciate them for putting effort in things like these.
10th May 2026
Was talking about how people assume the worst of you when they see any nitro+ chiral character pfp or when they see you playing the games with
oomf on twitter few days back. I just want to say that not every person playing nitro+ chiral games jerk off to rape and have weird, harmful fetishes.
I didnt know people liking media with dark themes automatically make them 'proshippers' or make them pro-kink or whatever the fuck these people
keep thinking. I get that n+c games dont handle subjects like rape very well a lot of times but that doesnt mean people who play these games simply
are uncapable of criticism of problematic elements in media.
I am a victim of child sexual assault and incest, people treating my trauma as a fetish does disturb me
but the worst part for me is when people think that you arent capable of criticism while liking things like hannibal nbc, nitro+ chiral games, etc. Do not
fucking project your traits onto random strangers online you dont know shit about.
29th April 2026
The guys of togainu no chi are so nauseatingly skinny bro. This is what happens when you live on solids. Eat some real food for fucks sake.
Reading about solids inducing production of a satiety hormone so you wont get hungry for a while is insane.
I wonder if there were there actually any food products like these during economic crisis or after war in parts of the world where food is/was very limited?
Oh by the way I finished Rin's route :3
22nd April 2026
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
Warning: abuse and sexual assault.
Finished Mink's route, I have a lot to say about aoba's character as a victim. I was so scared to play his route, not gonna lie.
I was considering skipping it. the developers have depicted mink and aoba's relationship as abuser and victim and honestly they did a good job at it,
exceeded my expectations atleast. Not really abuser victim dynamics but more about what the victim is going through? Aoba's state of mind genuinely made me fucking cry before
I decided to to shut the game and say "okayyy thats enough for today!"
I am MASSIVELY dissapointed with the ending, it genuinely made me so mad. I did not like the way Aoba just goes on to search for Mink tbh.. Yes victims can be attached to their
abusers but I really think they shouldnt have went with that route brooooo I am so fucking mad. Worst good ending. ALSO. Out of all the characters they just had to make Mink,
a guy who has locs and is indigenous, a rapist. Thats certainly a choice!
21st April 2026
Oh hello I finished Noiz' route the day before yesterday and I loveddd it sm. You can notice that most of the budget went to his route.
I loved it so much. I love when the developers make it seem like the game itself is getting corrupted by the events happening in the game.
It reminds me so much doki doki literature club. I know it was made way after dmmd got released but I genuinely cant help but think of it.
I am very fascinated with artistic choices in games and Noiz' route having these effects feels perfect because of how isolated and lonely he has been
because of his parents abuse. How he is unable to experience physical pain so he resorts to playing rhyme to feel alive and atleast feel pain in his mind.
I headcanon him feeling disoriented a lot of times as well. I also loved how if you choose to give up, the game just shuts down and you are sent to the menu screen.
Very niceee. Yeah and his sex scenes were hot 
18th April 2026
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I PLAYED CLEAR'S ROUTE IN DMMD
A FEW WEEKS AGO AND IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIMMMMMMM
I never thought I would like Clear out of all the romanceable characters. He did catch my attention because of how cute and goofy
his interactions with Aoba were.
MY PUPPYBOY 
I am saying this but I haven't played Noiz and Mink's route yet soooo.
Anyways, on god we are ALL fucking robots this year!!!
